Kings, Dukes, Generals, Ministers

The second solo came along a lot sooner than I thought, considering the first one took me 5 years to work up the courage. But when inspiration hits, there’s nothing to do but seize the day!

Opening of Kings, Dukes, Generals, Ministers launched by Luise Guest (Writer, Art Educator, Researcher) at Art Atrium

Opportunities for solo exhibition are incredibly valuable for an artist. I used to feel intimidated by the mere thought of them and hum and haw at the idea of having one. Even when I had already been in a number of group exhibitions and had the chance to show internationally, it was undeniable that solos terrified me.

They drum up so many insecurities. Will I have enough work? Will my work be good enough? Will people come just for me? Will I live up to expectations? All these questions feel so defining and the stakes feel like they rest solely on your shoulders.

Kilmarnock Forge, Orange NSW Australia

But they also provide the challenge to become a better artist. To push past limits. To take that course in blacksmithing, to upskill my welding, to learn and experiment with new materials. The intensity of those months before a solo often opens the doors to creativity.

Although the preparation for solos can sometimes feel painful, there are also moments of intense joy and freedom and growth.

So it was pretty fitting for the theme of Kings, Dukes, Generals, Ministers to be one of transformation and the fulfilment of potential through toil and diligence.

The title of the exhibition comes from the Chinese saying: “Kings, dukes, generals, ministers are made and not born.” It refers to a number of occasions within Chinese history where those from humble origins have challenged the status quo, with their labour and cunning, rising to mantles of power and prestige.

One of the hero pieces of this exhibition is Axe: The Weight of Battle, a proto-copy of a bronze battle-axe found in the tomb of Fu Hao: a priestess, queen and war general from the Shang Dynasty 1200 BC China. The dimensions and details of this glass axe head is identical to the bronze original (39.5 x 37 cm, weighing 9kgs) as I found it incredible how heavy and unwieldy it was to imagine that a woman carried this during battle. Yet, one did.

It tells a story of the unsuspecting power and potential often underestimated/overlooked characters have within them. A power that is very necessary to access for women as they fight for bodily autonomy along with many other metaphorical and non metaphorical battles happening around the world. It’s important to believe that we still have the power to create change despite the status quo.

This exhibition contains many of my hopes as an artist but also as a human living in the year 2022.

Axe: The Weight of Battle 2022

Vicki Torr Emerging Artist Prize 2021

When I received the phone call I flushed pink with excitement. It feels amazing to have such good news after what feels like a really long dry spell. Hearing that Portal won the Vicki Torr prize this year made me buzz with energy and motivation.

Close up of Portal: The Closed Door during the Glass Armours Solo Exhibition, 2021

Portal will be the first of many in the jade series. Although I call it the jade series, it’s actually made of cast recycled glass; a process I’ve been experimenting and developing over the last couple of years.

Although glass is a beautiful material to work with there are so many areas/steps in the making of glass artworks that could create waste. So as I’ve learnt more about the process, I’ve become more in tune with ways to recycle/reuse material. Some of them involve crushing up one off moulds that have been fired and mixing them into fresh raw material for mould making. (A process I learnt from Dr. Angela Thwaites, who calls the new mix ludo.) And sometimes that involves looking around at the discarded and shattered glass lying around, and giving them a new life.

The last two years have really opened my eyes to the effects of climate change. As an artist working with cast glass I realize that it is impossible to be completely carbon neutral but I guess I want to make as much of a difference as I can, however little it may seem so this series is an important step in that direction for me.

Thank you to the Ausglass members for voting me in and keep a lookout for a new body of work!

First Solo: Facing the Fear

February, 2021. Opening night of Glass Armours at Gallery Lane Cove.

We must be getting somewhat used to how my entries here are generally after the fact (what can I say journaling can be hard and it’s always best to live in the moment when it’s happening right?) But in a way, writing it after the fact allows me some time to process and reflect deeply on all that’s happened rather than just give a recount.

I remember when Rachael Kiang (the manager and curator of Gallery Lane Cove) first approached me in September last year (2020) to invite me to do a solo exhibition at her gallery as part of a 4 venue program, now known as the Lunar North Confluence, which focuses on the practices of Chinese Australian artists.

I went in for an initial meet and greet, to see the space that was going to be allocated to me 5 months later and I remember the absolute excitement and dread that ensued in that week. I couldn’t sleep for days agonizing over how big the space was and how small my works would look in a 9 by 9 meter room. Especially considering how my worst nightmare as an artist is having a solo exhibition and not having enough work to hold up the space so I had been putting off having a solo for a really long time as I worked to develop a body of work I could be proud of. But the space was gorgeous and I had some time, 5 months was a little tight working with glass where one artwork could easily take half a year to make, but as they say time waits just long enough for those who use it wisely.

The next 5 months were intense.

I don’t think I have ever worked so hard in my life. Everyday I was sculpting, molding, polishing, hammering, carving and making; working desperately towards a deadline. It was liberating. Before then I didn’t realized how tied down I felt by all the proposal and submissions I was writing up (one big surprise about being an artist is that it requires an inordinate amount of writing and not just writing, rejection after putting all the time into a proposal), it was all eating into my time and energy for actually making art. It’s hard to be motivated when you don’t know how or where you will exhibit your work after you’ve made it. So now that I had a vision to work towards I felt free. Ideas flowed forth, it gave me a chance to dream again and motivation to work on all those projects I had on the back burner came in torrents.

But even if the spirit was high, sometimes your body just can’t keep up though I surprised myself with how many times I managed to coax my body past its limits, constantly telling myself I can rest in March when everything was well and truly done. That now was the time to do and I can crash into my burnout later. It’s amazing what a deadline will do for you. So if you’re a young artist like myself, give yourself a chance and take on an ambitious project that you care about and you’ll be amazed by how capable you actually are.

I can’t tell you how wonderful it was to see all my work in one place and how much work it actually took to put it all up (there was a lot of shuffling around and considering and minds being changed). Working on this exhibition made me think of space in a whole new dimension and I am so lucky to have the help of experienced art installers and a curator like Rachael Kiang who understood the space intimately and could intuitively figure out how the audience would feel navigating the exhibition. I had general suggestions of how I would like the work to be seen - the Birdsong series a little segmented away from the other pieces and the Portal at the entrance of the exhibition there to both greet and challenge the audience to enter the space as it is the façade that guards my inner thoughts, which every piece in the exhibition is.

After 3 full days of install (where Jenna, Jo, my dad and I worked tirelessly), everything was up and I wondered the room alone in almost a trance. It was strange thinking that this was 5 years of work and hard to believe that these were all my creations that I have sweated, bled and cried over haha. There was an indescribable joy in my heart and I think it was a sense of belonging. A moment of ‘oh’. I don’t know how to describe it, I think if I did it would be gone.

The exhibition itself was an amazing experience but not for the reasons I expected. At the opening I saw curators, artists and art enthusiasts but I also saw people I had not seen in a decade, my friends from all the different social circles that I had engaged in at one point of my life came and for me it was like a colliding of worlds. I imagine it was what a wedding would feel like, a gathering of all the people you know who want to support you. I didn’t even know I had so many friends! I felt privileged to have created a space for people who may never have otherwise met talk and connect. Because what is an exhibition good for if not to spark conversation? What is a conversation good for if not to make friends out of strangers?

Glass Armours

NC QIN SOLO EXHIBITION

3 - 27 February 2021, Gallery Lane Cove

This exhibition focuses on the complexity of identity, separating our ego from our self into a physical manifestation of the heavy glass armour that we carry in our lives. Despite the project being composed of glass sculptural objects, my work is always about the humanity and the story of the piece, the object never quite the central subject matter but letting itself be shaped around an absent human subject. The cast glass armour is constructed with the cultural acknowledgement of the symbology and iconography of armours to Asian culture; as a mark of status and an object of familial and patriotic pride and expectation. By using glass to create the armour I render it ineffective in its mechanism for defence, with the aim of subverting its meaning and to explore themes of guilt, shame and repression that are often sourced from frustrated efforts to attain an ideal that is fostered by expectation, particularly within Asian social structures.

National Emerging Art Glass Prize 2020

“Head Cases” in the National Glass Art Gallery, Wagga Wagga

This post has been a long time coming. I first found out that I was awarded the National Emerging Art Glass Prize 2020 in April, but it didn’t feel appropriate to be celebrating when the whole world was reeling and mourning from the shock of all the COVID19 deaths in Italy. I was conflicted and thought it best to be satisfied with my mini fist pump and celebrate when times were better.

Well...times aren’t really better, 2020 is destined to be chaotic it seems (which is fitting considering how started off with the massive fires in Australia burning at their worst in January). But despite all the damage and the chaos, I also find it to be hopeful, like there will be a metamorphic change after this. And since there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight, I might as well take this time as good as any to celebrate, to continue making art and find reasons to be happy even amidst so many reasons to be sad or angry.

It was the first prize I have ever won as an artist. It felt validating and encouraging. I felt seen. Not just by the audience but by the people closer to home for me. My parents have always wondered if I had chosen the right path (even though it has already been 5 years since I graduated with my arts degree), they love and support me but they also worry for me.

I truly couldn’t have gotten here by myself. That is not to say I don’t believe in myself, but the path of an artist can be so fraught that I think even the most confident person can falter and be riddled with self doubt. If it weren’t for those who believed in me even when all evidence pointed otherwise and urged me to keep applying, keep making, keep trying, I don’t know if I would still be on this path. 

So I want to thank all those people who have been cheering me on since the beginning and those who saw me and believed in me when I needed it most. You are the reason I am still here. You guys are my treasure.

Without further ado, here are some images of my work up in the National Emerging Art Glass Prize 2020!

I have yet to go see it in person because of the quarantine, but I do hope to catch all the beautiful entries before the end of the Exhibition in September 2020! In the meantime I’ll keep creating and pushing myself in my craft. :)

Love Letter to Art Collectors

I know I haven’t been diligent with the upkeep of my online artist journal but this was just too big a news for me to pass up unannounced.

Some of you know this, but for those of you who don’t, I’ve been struggling with something in my art career for a long time: selling my work. Many of my mentors, friends and colleagues in the art industry have assured me time and time again that it wasn’t my art. Maybe it was where I was showing my work, my marketing, or the time just hadn’t come, Australia didn’t have much of an art market, etc, etc. And indeed, several times I have had interested folks from the States inquire about my work but I think to a certain degree I did feel like it had to do with my work. Something about it was just not coming together. It wasn’t the form exactly, it just wasn’t coming to life like I hoped it would in my mind.

When I finally got my hands on some crystal glass, I knew I had found the final piece of the puzzle. The glass itself had a presence. It sung in the light in a way that resonated with the excited buzzing in my heart. James Thompson (of Blackwood Crystal Glass) had promised me beautiful crystals and he had delivered me magic to work with.

I was crying tears of happiness for days! I don’t think I’ve ever seen such beautiful glass in my life and kept asking myself why hadn’t I switched to crystal sooner!

Blackwood Crystal Glass is a local Australia made glass with James Thompson, an absolute master, the brilliant mind behind the creation of over 30 colours with rare earth minerals. An epic achievement!

How do I describe the feeling of when I first opened the buckets of crystals and felt them glow in my hands? How do I describe the first time I cast an artwork and the feeling when the investment mould just fell off the glass so clean and perfect? Does it feel like an exaggeration to say that in that moment I felt my life change? Because it does not feel like an exaggeration to me.

Because every work that came after has been a dream. The visions in my mind manifesting before my eyes. (Mind you, I still have a long way to go but-) I was finally, FINALLY creating artwork I was proud of. And that made me confident about my work. I loved what I was making. So I kept going, savouring this new power.

I haven’t had the chance yet to exhibit many of my new crystal creations, only twice so far. The first glimpse of the crystal ballet slipper Persistence VII showed for a brief period at Summer Sojourn (an Art Atrium event) at the the end of last year. And the second and latest time was in Melbourne at the Vitreous Exhibition (as a part of the Herring Island Summer Arts Festival with the Contemporary Arts Society of Victoria). It was there that came the second life changing moment I am going to mention in this entry.

It was where I sold my first serious artwork. Someone fell in love with my vision enough to buy it. Someone saw enough value in my craft to fork over their own hard earn money for it. 194 (wo)man hours. 3 years of imagining went into that artwork. It was worth every dollar I had set as the price. Some would even say more would be fair but I figured I was just starting out.

This was just enough that I wouldn’t feel insulted for my blood, sweat and tears. Because how many nights have I lain wide awake anxious about what was going on in the kiln, how many times have I had to restart over, how many issues have I had at each step of the process be it clay, silicone, wax, moulds, casting or polishing? Countless trials and errors. How many nights have I questioned how long I could keep on this path as an artist putting in all this work with no return other than words of assurance?

But I could only look forward, not because I couldn’t take any other pathway in life but I felt like this was the one I was supposed to be on. That it was mine.

But what was abstract feeling in the face of cold logic? What was stubborn hard work and insistence that this was what I was meant to do in the face of a thousand criticisms from friends, family, strangers on the street even, in the concern and doubt they showed for my future. This is the pressure every artist goes through. The world seemed to have presented us with this passion and then turned its back on us by having everyone ask in one way or another what exactly were we doing?

Can you imagine the frustration?

Can you imagine the helplessness in the face of all this concern?

Because it was true. It felt true. Why was I working so hard? How could an artist continue being an artist under all this pressure?

But I was fortunate.

I was lucky because I was in a studio full of supportive artists who knew what I was going through, who had been where I was at and I will never forget what Kate Banazi told me.

“The Artists who make it are the Artists who last.”

The artists who kept going.

I never forgot that. I will never forget that.

So when I got that call asking me about my artwork Head Case I, just when I arrived in Melbourne to collect my work personally for de-install on Sunday, 17th of March 2019, something settled in me.

This was something solid I could grasp onto.

And maybe you won’t know how much it means to me and to all artists, but art collectors are so special. Because when they buy an artwork it’s not only money they give for our craft but they gift something far more precious. Confidence. Belief in our work.

Herring Island Gallery
17/03/2019

Humans were never meant to be alone.

And us, artists, are always making work for an audience.

So thank you to the collectors for responding back to us and especially thank you to Mike and Sandi Faulkner for being the first ones to take a chance on this young artist. For giving her the much needed confidence boost that she had been anticipating for ages. And who knows where this life changing event may lead. ;)