Persistence 0 - The Humble Beginnings of Adopting the Artist Growth Mindset

This is just one of the stories behind the Persistence series of how it began and what I learnt from the process.

The series has empowered me by making me really adopt the practice makes perfect mindset; the growth mindset. The first glass cast was a complete failure, I had graduated from art school and hadn’t cast anything for at least half a year and my first cast Persistence 0, did not work

In my first mould the core was made out of paper pulp, which I was used to using while I was at art school. But while I was observing overnight the entire kiln started smoking. I knew it was because it was burning all the carbon out, however, I didn’t want to ruin the kiln. There was no more safety net of being a student and in my panic, before it had even reached 300°C, I took all the glass and mould out as fast as I could (once you take it out you can’t put it back in), everything cracked.

I was alone at 3am in the morning with a smoking and cracked mould, I was devastated! There were cinders everywhere, the studio was covered in cinders! I felt so bad for everyone around me because their work was covered in cinders too. And although Kate Banazi who works upstairs was really gracious about it and Kate Baker, my mentor, was really reassuring as well... I felt like a failure. The first one...the first cast had failed.

But the whole idea of Persistence and the reason why I named it that was to keep going, so I did keep going and made my second mould.

Aaand that didn’t quite work out either, the glass had started to leak when I checked it at top temperature. My stomach dropped and thoughts like ‘oh damn there is not enough glass to even cover the ribbons!’ raced through my mind. But, in the end when I had found the glass did, in fact, reach the ribbons it was just the tip that missed out. I was ok with that. I was just so happy that something came out! Later I managed to salvage it by creating a base especially for it.

Since then, I’ve been recording my process for each cast. Documenting the materials I use, the temperatures I go up to and how long I keep them there. Each time I find myself gaining more and more confidence and being bolder about experimentation. Each successive cast has added to my knowledge base and helped me improve my technique. I think I’m really getting to finesse that casting process of complex forms (there’s a future project on the horizon that I’m really excited about, which I’ll talk about in a later post).

I feel like I’ve grown into a person with more depth and confidence through this project. I’m not so willing to give up anymore. I used to have so many doubts about all sorts of things but all these failures have taught me that failing isn’t as scary as I thought it would be, in fact, they’re just obstacles and there are so many ways of getting through them.

It’s only a small bump and it’s not a slide straight to Hell (though it may feel like that at times). It’s even rewarding because you grow so much. I really love what I do. This process has developed me and given me a stronger outlook on life than I had before. I’m more willing and more proactive about how I approach problems.

Persistence I

Lesson: Not there yet, but we'll get there. :)
Recommendations: Read Mindset by Carol Dweck

Carbon Footprint

“The world before us is a postcard, and I imagine the story we are writing on it.”

— Mary E. Pearson

Carbon Footprint holds a special place in my heart for it was my first step into the glass world. 

For this project [The Hybrid] I chose the subjects: boots and postcards. The end product was a hybrid of the chosen subjects’ concepts and function.

The concept I’m exploring was inspired by a close friend of mine, who had gone off to Africa after months of depression, and the change in his perspective through his travels. What intrigued me was that while I understood the change and the experience on a cognitive level, there was a level of empathy that I could not reach. It was like walking in someone else’s shoes but they were ill fit because of the way my feet had grown through the life and genes that have shaped the present me. It made me reflect on the journal entries I had written during my travels and I realised that although I could certainly empathize more, a 100% connection was not reachable there either. And in the end, although these records (journals an postcards) can reach out to our imagination and take us off into another time and place, no matter how close fitting they are as we walk in these boots, they will never be perfect. The imprints we leave behind as we walk in them will be like Chinese whispers; lost and smudged in translation.

Possible future directions
 

The sculpture may become a moving glass boot with inscriptions of the postcard engraved on the sole of the shoe. The presentation will include it walking over a layer of sand and leaving faint imprints of the contents of the engraved postcard behind.
In regards to how the boots will move I have considered two options;
1. creating a mechanical foot that operates on kinetic energy
2. putting the glass boot on as one would an actual boot and walking in them.
(I think the latter option is more conducive to the concept but in terms of long term display, the former might be more functional.)
The materials I will be exploring is glass and ceramics. The reason I chose to cast the boot out of glass is both out of aesthetic and symbolic concerns. It draws a parallel from the Cinderella fable, where the glass shoe would fit no one perfectly except for Cinderella and this would be emphasized even more if I were to choose option 2 and put the boots on to walk in; making it transparent that I am not the original user of the shoes.
If I were to choose option 1, I would create the mechanical system in which the cogs would be ceramic. The reason I chose ceramics is once again for aesthetic and symbolic concerns; I find clay to be a suitable medium because of its tactile quality and the fact that it comes from the earth and its ability to harden into a bone like character.

Introduction : The Linear Story

Here I'll be posting updates on my current and past projects as well as insights on my process as I produce more work. There will be old and new concepts of the same project layered on top of each other as the project takes a life of its own or adopt the artist's through the stages of its creation. Many of the projects that I develop earlier in my career are very ambitious in scale and technique, not necessarily because I believed I had the ability at the time but because those are the abilities I wanted to achieve and for me those projects would propel me to learn as much as possible. There have been many obstacles along the way, but I have come to realize that they are the way.

My greatest ambition as an artist is to achieve Mastery; to have the versatility and ability to realize whatever vision or concept I have conjured up in my mind and put it out there to share with the world. 

The Human Spirit is a subject that I am constantly trying to capture in my works. Through themes of love, desire, failure, persistence; and what is most important to me is the theme of potential and evolution. My artworks also document my growth as an artist and a human being, telling a story when they’re read chronologically.

“Icarus” is about ambition, it was my graduation piece cast from my own torso with wings too heavy and delicate to fly. 

“Breath” is ironically about asphyxiation, it is the solidification of the air around the face unable to enter because of panic, of lack of serenity and ability to see oneself clearly. 

And my ballet series, “Persistence” is my answer to what came before, to the trials and failures I’ve had since starting on my artist career and deciding even if I do fail a cast or two (or more), I can still get back up and make it into something beautiful.

Introduction : The Beginning of the Glass Journey

In my last year of highschool, I dreamt of a woman rising out of the water, skin clear as crystal, locks like waves and eyes just on the verge of opening, with a warm, soft radiance coming from inside. It was a glass sculpture of Rebirth. This was back in 2010. I still dream about it.

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Matchbox Factory

Oil on Canvas
135 x 135 cm
2010

I love using glass because it reflects me the most. It’s an incredibly temperamental mistress. When it burns, it glows a deadly orange and you can try to shape it as best as you can, but without years of struggle, you can’t hope to temper it. And even with years of experience, sometimes it’ll still crack your mold and destroy your kiln. The stress starts the moment you decide to become an artist, it increases when you start a project or set a deadline for an exhibition, but nothing really compares to when you’ve put something in the kiln. Nothing.

When the glass is cold and you’re slaving away at it, the slightest bump can chip off a few hours of work, and when it breaks the edge is so sharp it cuts not just your skin, it cuts into your mentality, drives you insane for wasting hours of work. It’s a constant tightrope walk with chance as your balance, and you can’t afford the slightest bit of carelessness.

But even with all the frustration and stress, I still love working with glass and its various shades of transparency. The game of chance is worth it for that magical moment when you break a mold open to unearth what’s inside. Despite all the risks and odds against you, it’s worth it every time when one work comes out just right. Just one.

I decided to make this blog because I wanted to share my experiences with those who like my work, those who are curious, those who aspire to become an artist themselves. I wanted to share my failures and triumphs, my pain and my happiness, my tears and my growth. Maybe one day my work might even inspire someone to start their own journey.